Monday, July 13, 2009

Time Goes By

It seems time goes by so slowly,
like the motion of your fingers.
Tracing their way,
D
O
W
N
To the deepest parts of my soul.
The way your kiss enlights a fire,
rekindling that once lost desire
of wanting to feel another.
And its that way your voice escapes your lips,
in the faintest of melodies.
Of unheard whispers but only in dreams.
And how you leave me breathless,
when I wake to find you gone.
Lay back and think,
of how its been so long.

No Common Simple Man

It is the soul which aches,
for repentence of this sin.
Which is the carnal hunger,
of men.
I shed the skin,
this mortal coil.
That begs for something more,
that forever aches, of the pure.
Which I have soiled,
with the sins of the world.
And I sit before you;
naked of the robe,
that is my skin.
And beg thee:
Love be true,
of no common simple man.

On the Nature of Man

How sad to see those who stand before me,
those I dearly love but shrink from me.
For my unwanted thoughts so piercing,
invade their precious memory.
And they laugh and turn away,
thinking the girl has lost her mind.
And I am but searching for things lost with time.
And this she speaks in tongue,
for surely some are meant to never know.
The things in which she whispers are the talkings of my soul.
And this I am:
The tragic poet, the love of days of old.
The mad artist, as the picture slowly unfolds.
A lover of death, for I've embraced it fondly.
And looked upon life, and its creatures kindly.
But the humans, are far from harmless.
As I'm plagued with the thoughtless.
And I find myself standing alone,
for that is how its always been.
And the Gods have remembered past sins,
in which I have committed.
And this tragedy is,
why I feel at all?
Or why I came to be?
Such a tug of war with myself,
on the nature of humanity.

Thoughtless

It seems I haven't felt such feelings for many a year,
for I cry not and laugh little at what it is you fear.
I succumb to brutality in all its forms, to the harshness of not caring.
For it hurts too much for your denial, of a thought of understanding.
It is too late to even try to change the world it seems,
I am just a sparkling of which they wish to gleam.
But if it be they cared, changed the course in which they pursue.
If only it was something I could possibly see in you.
For I taint the change that will not bare, the fruit of something good.
But there is a place and time for change, for all that is and should.
And be it I hear the voices calling thru the trees,
whispering sweet answers to all this worldly greed.
That beg surrender of man's necessity to make himself higher than thee.
For I can see tomorrow and many thoughts I do ponder,
bring me to my knees.
And I can see you laughing, no thought of after-guessing at what you'll be.
Ashes upon ashes of mortality, singed away for travesties.
Of past transgressions immorally.
That reacheth the heavens of the Gods.

I Like You (Better Dead)

I like peeling away the flesh,
eating the good parts and leaving the rest.
Scratched out those deceiving eyes,
got sick of sorting out your lies.
Finally forgave you when you bled,
noticed I like you better dead.
Broke thru the ribs, smash the heart.
Stuff you, sow you, pulled you back apart.
Ugly on the outside so I searched for pretty,
carved you open and didn't find any.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Judgment

I could tear out my being from this world,
and how many would notice?
I could lay my life on a scale,
and what would I have to show for it?
I don't have much but a mental state,
that is far from being perfect.
But I strive for what you would not understand,
and everything below the surface.
I tear away the shell of man,
and strip away his pride.
For what you have hidden beneath,
are years of welcomed lies.
For I will pound and pound and show,
the weakness in your soul.
That will match the rhythm of my beating,
of the pain in which I know.
For I will rise and rise and flow,
like the ebbing of my soul.
And bring forth secrets well hidden,
that you have yet to behold.
For I have stumbled along this,
this path darkened by time.
And there is no more wishing,
that I could be blind.
There is too much happening,
this hammering in my head.
And I can not get this out of me,
the screams of the dead.
Show me no more what I cant contain,
this beating, beating at my brain.
And slow the anger that is taking over,
and driving me insane.
For I am your judgment,
fate has made me so.
And I will watch you suffer,
as you claw at your hole.
And I will be there to bury you,
not a smile shall I wear.
For I am not wanting to do this,
you chose for me to put you there.

A Projection of Disgust

Reality is a sadist
pointing fingers
to exact revenge
for petty reasons.
Man is a gun
barrell aimed at
the unknown
for fear of anihilation.
And death is acceptance
our eyes will be closed.
No longer able to see
our own insecurities.
We blame others
a projection of disgust.
For undetermined reasons
we kill ourselves.

Cast Away

When born into chaos,
the stronger will takes it with ease.
And puts the stars and planets into focus,
and thou doest what thou please.
I am of equilibrium,
I have both good and bad.
And when the darkness brings itself together,
the light must shine even greater.
I have but a simple Will,
for the humans to their toil.
And proceed with caution.
For my love is only trampled on so often.
And time must take its toll,
you rotten as you grow old.
Your sins are running out of room,
time to make again, new.
Cut you down like wheat with a scythe,
bury your dead for they rise.
Diseased and impaled,
you get what you sell.
And take as a trophy,
your bloodline is insanity.
And does thou not grow weary,
of the repitition of the guilty?
I can only cleanse so much,
before all must be cast away.
And start again fresh,
with bones, blood, and clay.
And content shall I be,
till man realizes what he sees.
And stripes away all that is good,
till I have nothing more to give, to you.

Eulogy

If I felt there was no reason in being,
I would have died a long time ago.
And in such thoughts I relinquish,
my immortal soul.
For here is where I'll be remembered,
this is my coffin inlaid with jewels.
And those who do not perceive this,
are merely the giftless fools.
For in my speaking lies the truth,
the simplicity of the soul.
That may rise and tumble,
and in me bound and grow.
For I am an intensity of love,
never ending as the stars.
A universe all ourselves,
creating galaxies afar.

And I am not begging perfection,
I am still incomplete.
And that is why I write this down,
for those to understand me.
But maybe this is my punishment,
for things I've done in another time.
To be forever mistunderstood,
by those who are of my kind.
And now the bards no longer sing
so beautifully, in unison with the spirit.
And how many have strove to ponder,
that vastness held within it?
And spake these lines that show my soul,
carved upon stone in blood.
Read my eulogy of a forgotten world,
that sung the arts of love.
For the burial tomb has been removed,
the jewels laid within, are gone.
And now that remains are nothing more,
than dirt and bone.

An unfinished poem to my father....

This silence echos failure,
on both our parts.
But I'm old enough to know better,
that I'd like to open up and let you in.
then never.
To hug you without breaking,
the empty shell that's been carved.
Out of stone and with the guilt,
that I've always loved you,
but you never truly felt...

(Maybe one day I'll finish it.)

Mercury

I've stared up into the vistas
only imagined.
Stars bursting, creating
dust particles, in your eyes.
I've witnessed miracles,
your face.
Reshaping the Universe,
making it whole.
Your path is wonderous,
your body like Apollo.
And if I could but glimpse,
your light 'cause I am
so far away.
Maybe your heat would melt,
this strong exterior core.
And sway me from this retrograde,
into your orbit.

Unforgiving

It seems there is no escaping,
from the tenacity of my being.
That caught me from childhood's grasp,
to wake from dreaming with a gasp.
I know who I am,
I see clearly.
Everything before me.
And haunting memories hang over your head,
and I am unforgiving.
But tis a wonderful dream,
to sit quietly underneath the melancholy of my being.
And watch from afar the actions of pretending.
That I could ever learn how to love,
your unspoken guilt.
And try to understand exactly how you felt,
when you hurt and broke everything I had to give.
And now I know you...
that broken smile you pieced back together in time.
That ignorance that I once claimed was mine.
Has been lifted,
and sicne been replaced.
With your bruised and cracked face,
and I am unforgiving.

Forget Him

With this rhyme I speak of time,
that shall mend my broken heart.
An' carry shall the winds these tears to send,
that beckons, forget him.
An' speak not of his gentle grace,
an' how I dearly wish not be replaced.
An' those soft kisses upon my face,
held tenderly by love's embrace.
An' still the winds do commend,
forget him.
Untie the memories of knotted things, left undone.
Wishes never granted an' still unsung.
He once heard thy melody of love,
now woe, I sing of sadness for he has gone.
An' travel fast sweet lark your voice I do send,
lost in your song, forget him.

An' spake the solitude to my discretion:
"Leave this madness behind, affection.
Tread these grounds of love no more.
For what you have left is broken an' torn.
Weep not another tear shall ye shed,
for t'is a love buried an' dead.
An' with that shall he bloom again,
to love another.
Forget him."

Of The Rain

I see my life in raindrops,
tiny water-bubbled memories,
as they fall.
And I wait for the deafening thunder,
the reckoning of realization hits,
that I am myself, so very small.
The lightning across the sky- breaks
and it is my will.
Weakening too quickly spent,
to hold the daylight, still.
And I find myself waiting,
the clouds all passing by.
For the winds to hearken to my soul,
that rains all the time.

Ruin

I take myself away,
to witness the pain.
That hasn't gone.
That took years to comprehend,
what I am.
And what I was.
I am ruin,
my temple has crumbled.
I've been left with a shell,
of my former self.
And misery comes natural,
I find myself starring into an abyss.
Where my pain takes numbers;
to stand in line,
to reminisce.

Of Love An' Flowers

There be who say,
that laughter is the beginning of heartache.
An' what shall soon become, tis misery
to take this all away...
In young beauty, love.
You will find the seed well planted for pain.
An' that I wish I could tear from the root,
and thy emtpiness gain.
For the heart that which is cold,
shall bare the winter's frost well.
An' to be without remorse,
time can only tell.
Where I shall sow flowers for the dead,
an' weep but bloody tears.
For t'is a love of anything,
that anticipates the fear.
Of losing thee, many times a life,
Have I witnessed this before.
T'is I care not,
for love anymore.

Figment

I was once too passionate,
to be heard.
Ignored as if a haunting,
unknowing of death.
A memory so easily betrayed,
carries many regrets.

...

I heard her whisper,
that she tried.
Blanketed by the twilight,
of the night.
With her head bowed,
she let out a sigh.
And listened to the echos,
as the world died.

I Tore the World Away (From Me)

I sat gazing on the hill that led to nowhere,
I felt the world crack and break, and fall at my feet.
I watched the days replay that came to this one,
and I realized I had no reason to care that it was ending.

I saw my face in a broken mirror,
but the pieces fit quite nicely to the inner mind.
I sat all day reconstructing the pieces,
just to find the background was disgusting.

I tore the world away from and woke up from a dream,
just to realize the stars were falling.
I suffered the burns trying to put them back in the heavens,
but figured who would see their beauty?

All the angels with their eyes so pretty,
turned away so as not to see.
The words that use to have so much meaning,
came from the lips of the dead.

And all I can see is the stain,
from where the angels have turned to ashes.
And humans have walked in the footsteps,
erasing all that was sacred.

I tore the world away from me,
it's crumbled like a piece of discarded thoughts on paper.
I set it on fire and the world was no longer seen,
through the eyes of angels.

figment

I felt the chill of remembrance,
creeping down my spine.
Of waking thought that I shall
die alone.
You are here now,
like they were before.
And their memories still linger,
caught in my throat.

A Haunting

I'm watching you now (like I was before)
But I'm outside myself now (and it doesn't hurt so much.)
I've been dead for years, haunting things I held so dear.
But letting go was like coming home...

and seeing through my pain to the other side, of you.

I can forgive you but can you ask me to forget?
The days I lingered felt like purgatory,
and for my sins, I should have just forgiven myself.

But now I see you,
sitting there as if you were alone.
Like so many times you've done before,
and it doesn't phase me so much.
Because I've realized I was never there,
and I blamed myself.

For never being bright enough,
for you to see me.
But could it be the other way around?

You're just a figment of my misery.
I held on to you like you were my cross,
pounding those nails into my skin.
Repaying all my old debts.

And it's really you who's been dead,
sitting like others before.
Too gone to notice the life before you disappeared.
And you've been dead for years,
and I've laid you to rest.